Learning to Relax, Accept and Let Go!
Life can be hard. Really, really hard.
We have all had at least one VERY BAD DAY! Maybe a few…, maybe many…
I had one of those days a while back. Tore me to pieces. No way to fix it. No way back.
I am not whining, and what happened was very personal. Bad days happen, and feeling hurt is a part of life. The big question is what is the best way to respond.
How do we come back to ourselves and our lives when our whole world is devastated?
In my experience, getting present to the truth is the only ending and beginning that has any chance of actually making the situation, not only better but an effective and thorough learning experience.
Ending AND beginning, say what? Yep. You are not going to get much of a new start until you can move on from the past. Sounds obvious, I know.
Have you ever heard of body memory?
It is a funny thing about humans and other animals. We wake up and feel through our muscles, nerves, and bones. If we are fit, happy and inspired, we probably fly out of bed like a superhero.
If we are burdened with chronic pain, or are carrying around three generations of trauma, or just can’t seem to give a shit about life, we are going to wake up to another day in hell.
Body memory wins again.
In my experience, and I mean every day right now, I have two choices. If you are in hell today, then you also have two choices. Complain about your resentments or decide to change something.
“But I have tried that”, you say with furrowed brows. I said decide, not try!
There is an old Zen Koan that goes, “Who is the one meditating?”
So, who is the one trying to change? Ask your nerves, muscles, and bones. How do you remember your life?
No, really! Pause for a moment and ask your animal body. Superhero or roadkill, or hopefully someplace in between?
What I am doing these days, and what I would encourage anyone to do is begin a daily decompression and intention practice. I will describe the decompression part and then share an Applied Meditation practice to get you into the groove.
What you do with your intention ABSOLUTELY needs to come from deep within yourself.
Decompression goes like this. Relax, Accept and Let Go!
Relaxation is common sense, but most of us are being chased around by judgemental assholes in our minds with a list of all of our mistakes clutched in their angry hands. Luckily, relaxation is a nerve, muscle and bone decision.
I hear Acupuncture helps…, or massage, or…,
Acceptance – and I mean the ‘for real’ kind, is like being eaten by a snake. Ewww!
As instinctually terrifying as that is, the truth has to be let in. Whatever the story is, whatever lies have been told – the TRUTH shall set you free. It just has to be accepted first. Toenails to eyebrows.
Letting Go is not an easy process. As Tony Robbins says, ‘Real change takes Massive Action”.
Letting go of a past trauma, or letting go of a loved one who has decided to kill themselves slowly next to you, or letting go of the loved one who is leaving you behind, in your puddle of problems they cannot fathom or resolve.
This is letting go. It only takes all of your strength all-day-every-day-forever.
Sorry, if that seems dark. There is just a lot of hard times happening everywhere I look these days.
If you could use some practical advice, check out the video here.