Confession – My Biggest Medical Mistake
Life is a great teacher, and it can take a long time to get the lessons we need the most. Maybe I am a slow learner at some things. Maybe we all are slow learners in some way.
It sounds like a cliché, but the big lessons only come when you are ready. I guess I am ready.
Sometimes being honest feels vulnerable. This is one of those times for me. So, this is going to get personal…, nothing weird, sorry! Just a HUGE realization about how I do my work with people as a Healer.
It is hard to admit that I have made a HUGE mistake. It has gone on for over 20 years.
As you may know I have been living with Crohn’s disease and Colitis for over 20 years. Some years before that I was involved in a chemical accident and was told I would develop COPD or Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (Lung Disease) or I will get MCS, known as Multiple Chemical Sensitivity. I clear my throat a lot. I have since that accident.
I have to take care of myself with just as much dedication as most of my patients do. I mostly do all of the things I suggest others do. I eat well, exercise regularly and do my best to get more sleep. It has been that way for twenty years. If I followed the rules, my illness would stay in the shadows. A few times I have wondered into those shadows. I get it. Honestly, I just don’t want to pay the price for those lifestyles choices. Feeling like crap feels like crap. We all start somewhere.
My story goes like this: I got really sick and told to prepare for a life of weakness, fatigue, pain, nausea and diarrhea. I was an athlete at the time. I learned and did what it took and I eventually became well. It is a good story.
Honestly, I just become a lot less sick.
Honestly, I have spent the last 20 years with a very sneaky belief that I am lucky that I am not sicker. If I have a bad week here or there, it could be so much worse… That is true, but it is not the essential truth. I have been exploring my options differently lately, especially for the last few months. I have no excuse. I have come to realize that I negotiated very poorly with my potential for good health. I took it for granted that I would experience at least some fatigue, nausea, pain and digestive issues. I took it for granted that I would be weaker as an athlete.
The essential truth is, I needed to believe the limits I put on my life belonged right where they were; limiting my life. I needed to know I could control something. It is
probably why I became a Martial Arts teacher.
Recently, a good friend asked me about my health , and I said “pretty good.” He is one of those friends who looks into your Soul when they talk and listen. They really listen…. You know the type?
I spontaneously started sharing this deep intuitive sense that something wasn’t right. I have been going through a lot of diagnostic procedures and tests lately. There is this strong and scary voice, something isn’t right.
He asked me a question I will never forget. “What would RIGHT feel like?”
I couldn’t remember what ‘right’ felt like, but I could in a way remember parts, then I got scared. I had a full-on melt down – the ones where you sob for no reason.
Then it just hit me like lightning (more clichés) – I had subconsciously allowed my symptoms to simmer away in my life. I have been fairly healthy most
of my life, but since I got sick long ago, I can always feel it if I get too far off track. Maybe you know what I mean?
It seemed like a good deal. Keep the bad stuff away. What is the saying? ‘Keep your friends close, but your enemy closer.’ I think that was me. I always kept some sign of trouble just around the corner.
I have come to realize with a great deal of humility that I have some limiting beliefs that needed to be met with patience and wisdom. We will chat about limiting beliefs soon.
So, after a small re-evolution, I am re-arranging things so I can take my health and my life to the next level. And send out fun and helpful emails and blog posts.
Here is the Takeaway:
Being “not sick” is not the same as “getting into the best shape of your life.” I want to help you move that way too! So, here are the big questions of the week.
Have you negotiated for less of the bad?
Or are you committed to taking things to another level?
Stay Present and Be Awesome
PS. Not Ready, but looking for some insight? Here is a video about feeling stuck.